My Aunt Jimmie Lee sent me a birthday card many years ago that I still treasure.
It read:
WHAT LIES BEHIND US AND WHAT LIES BEFORE US ARE TINY MATTERS COMPARED TO WHAT LIES WITHIN US. -Emerson.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
PRAYER
My sister Lucille Ryals passed away at the age of 47 from stomach cancer. She was buried on John's birthday, Oct 4. John called her Aunt Lucy-o. Don't know why but since he was small that was her name and he loved her. The night of her burial he managed to get his hands on a prescription for sleeping pills and went to places unknown and tried to take his life. Fortunately the power company was working in that area and found him. He was in a coma for 4 days and I prayed without ceasing that God would spare his life. John was a twin and I couldn't think of life without him in it.
Many people say you should never use the wording "IF IT BE THY WILL' because God wants everyone healed and well. I did not ask God If it be they will, but rather poured my heart out to God and told him how much I loved this son and how badly it would affect me if he took him. God spared my son and he lived 9 years before finally passed away. This suicide attempt was after he was involved in the lightening strike.
The next 9 years of his life were filled with anguish and pain. He suffered deep periods of depression and there were times he begged God to let him die.
I realized in time that I had been very selfish and that my prayer had subjected him to "HELL ON EARTH"
Through this experience I learned HOW TO PRAY. When I pray for anyone it is always 'THY WILL BE DONE LORD'. You see only God knows what is best for anyone and what lies ahead for them. When someone says "We would like to pray for you I always say "Don't ask God to heal me, but rather that he would do what is best for me. Ask him to work his will in my life.
I have learned, no God has taught me things through LIVING THE SCRIPTURES.
Many people say you should never use the wording "IF IT BE THY WILL' because God wants everyone healed and well. I did not ask God If it be they will, but rather poured my heart out to God and told him how much I loved this son and how badly it would affect me if he took him. God spared my son and he lived 9 years before finally passed away. This suicide attempt was after he was involved in the lightening strike.
The next 9 years of his life were filled with anguish and pain. He suffered deep periods of depression and there were times he begged God to let him die.
I realized in time that I had been very selfish and that my prayer had subjected him to "HELL ON EARTH"
Through this experience I learned HOW TO PRAY. When I pray for anyone it is always 'THY WILL BE DONE LORD'. You see only God knows what is best for anyone and what lies ahead for them. When someone says "We would like to pray for you I always say "Don't ask God to heal me, but rather that he would do what is best for me. Ask him to work his will in my life.
I have learned, no God has taught me things through LIVING THE SCRIPTURES.
Friday, February 12, 2010
JOHN'S POEM"
Exactly one month after the death of my son, I picked up pen and paper and wrote the following poem. Never wrote poetry before either.
"As I sit here alone by my window
Thinking back on the days of your life
You had acts of God to battle
Which caused you such anguish and strife.
There were times when you felt so rejected
Those you loved just could not understand
That the things in your daily struggle
Were dealt to you from God's hand.
You searched for a way to cope with
Things hidden in the corners of your mind
Life's pleasures all had vanished
Only fear and dread left behind.
The desire to end it grew daily
You felt alone, there was no one to care.
You tried to find something that mattered
There must be something -somewhere.
You searched till you finally discovered
That elixir that became such a friend
Not once did you ever consider
IT would bring your life to an end."
My son had 6 series of shock therapy and nothing seemed to help. He turned to alcohol and within a year he had liver failure and passed away
"As I sit here alone by my window
Thinking back on the days of your life
You had acts of God to battle
Which caused you such anguish and strife.
There were times when you felt so rejected
Those you loved just could not understand
That the things in your daily struggle
Were dealt to you from God's hand.
You searched for a way to cope with
Things hidden in the corners of your mind
Life's pleasures all had vanished
Only fear and dread left behind.
The desire to end it grew daily
You felt alone, there was no one to care.
You tried to find something that mattered
There must be something -somewhere.
You searched till you finally discovered
That elixir that became such a friend
Not once did you ever consider
IT would bring your life to an end."
My son had 6 series of shock therapy and nothing seemed to help. He turned to alcohol and within a year he had liver failure and passed away
THAT YOU MAY BEAR IT.
"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man; But God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also, make a way to escape, THAT YOU MAY BE ABLE TO BEAR IT.
1COR.10:13"
In 1987 my son was struck by lightening. As a result of this happening he became suicidal and had to return home to live with me. There were times I didn't know if I would find him dead each morning. I did not smoke but he did and the best smell ever was the smell of cigarettes when I awoke for I knew HE WAS ALIVE. I leaned heavily on God to see me through this ordeal. One day in church I was forced to my feet and the words came out of my mouth,"WITHIN A YEAR I WILL BE PLAYING THE ORGAN" We were a small church and it was difficult to keep an organ player. I knew nothing about music though I loved music dearly. I started locking myself in the Sanctuary daily and sitting at the organ. I would open the Church Hymnal, found middle C and soon I was playing and reading music. The Holy Spirit was teaching me. The members of the church knew I knew nothing about playing and they started seeing this miracle unfolding before their eyes. Within a year I was playing for services. Now the part of the scripture that says THAT YOU MAY BEAR IT WAS WORKING IN MY LIFE. The music that God brought into my life enabled me to make it through my son's illness Each day I would shut myself away from the world with God and did this until he passed away. When our church was sold it was voted that I get the organ because of the things that had happened. I now have an organ, a keyboard and I can write, read, and transpose music. God is true to His Word. Trust Him.
Don't ask for escape in your difficult times. Stand on God's promise that he will make a way of escape THAT YOU MAY BEAR IT. We all have test that we must pass. If we try to escape out of difficult times we will have to repeat them again. Find God's way THAT YOU MAY BEAR IT and come out a victor. God Bless You.
1COR.10:13"
In 1987 my son was struck by lightening. As a result of this happening he became suicidal and had to return home to live with me. There were times I didn't know if I would find him dead each morning. I did not smoke but he did and the best smell ever was the smell of cigarettes when I awoke for I knew HE WAS ALIVE. I leaned heavily on God to see me through this ordeal. One day in church I was forced to my feet and the words came out of my mouth,"WITHIN A YEAR I WILL BE PLAYING THE ORGAN" We were a small church and it was difficult to keep an organ player. I knew nothing about music though I loved music dearly. I started locking myself in the Sanctuary daily and sitting at the organ. I would open the Church Hymnal, found middle C and soon I was playing and reading music. The Holy Spirit was teaching me. The members of the church knew I knew nothing about playing and they started seeing this miracle unfolding before their eyes. Within a year I was playing for services. Now the part of the scripture that says THAT YOU MAY BEAR IT WAS WORKING IN MY LIFE. The music that God brought into my life enabled me to make it through my son's illness Each day I would shut myself away from the world with God and did this until he passed away. When our church was sold it was voted that I get the organ because of the things that had happened. I now have an organ, a keyboard and I can write, read, and transpose music. God is true to His Word. Trust Him.
Don't ask for escape in your difficult times. Stand on God's promise that he will make a way of escape THAT YOU MAY BEAR IT. We all have test that we must pass. If we try to escape out of difficult times we will have to repeat them again. Find God's way THAT YOU MAY BEAR IT and come out a victor. God Bless You.
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